“Nobody loves me”. The Journey to Healing: Nurturing Love Within

Realizing that there is a lack of love in one’s life can be a profoundly painful experience. However, by understanding two different models of experiencing love, we can begin to address this emotional void. The child’s perspective, where love is received, and the mature perspective, where love is given, offer valuable insights. It is essential to recognize the distinction between love itself and the relationships it fosters. Additionally, acknowledging the natural inclination to revert back to our inner child’s perspective can guide us towards a path of healing. By redirecting love towards our inner child, practicing self-care, and seeking support, we can cultivate a more fulfilling experience of love. 

The Child’s Perspective: 

Love as a Recipient During childhood, our sense of security, care, and self-development heavily relies on the love provided by our parents or caregivers. This child’s perspective entails asking for love and expecting it to be given to us. It is through this love that we shape our identity and understanding of the world. The absence of this parental love can leave lasting emotional scars and contribute to the longing we feel in adulthood. 

The Mature Perspective: 

Love as a Provider As we transition into adulthood, our perception of love evolves. Having love in our lives no longer solely revolves around receiving it but extends to giving it to others. This mature perspective emphasizes being equipped, ready, and willing to offer love in various ways. It involves recognizing that love begins within ourselves, filling our own hearts with love, and understanding that the relationships we form are the manifestations of that love. Differentiating love from relationships is crucial to avoid placing unrealistic expectations on others and experiencing disappointment. 

Reverting to the Inner Child’s Perspective 

Despite embracing the mature perspective, it is natural to occasionally experience a deep longing for love, reverting back to our inner child’s perspective. This longing can cause us to project unmet needs onto current relationships and individuals, leading to pain and dissatisfaction. However, it is important to understand that the only source capable of providing the love our inner child craves is our inner adult. 

Redirecting Love to the Inner Child 

When we find ourselves yearning for love, it is a sign that we need to pause and redirect that love towards our inner child. This inward focus involves nurturing and caring for our inner child, acknowledging their needs, and providing the love and support they require. By practicing self-love and self-compassion, we address the emotional void within us and lay the foundation for healing. 

Reflecting and Seeking Support 

Taking the time to reflect on our emotional well-being is essential in the journey towards nurturing love within. Engaging in self-care activities that promote self-love and self-compassion allows us to develop a deeper understanding of our own needs. Furthermore, seeking therapy or support from trusted individuals can provide valuable guidance in exploring and healing past wounds that may impact our ability to both give and receive love. 

Embracing Recipient and Provider Roles 

To cultivate a more fulfilling experience of love, it is crucial to embrace both the roles of receiving and giving love. By offering love to our inner child and attending to their emotional needs, we establish a strong foundation of self-love and self-acceptance. This, in turn, enables us to engage in healthier and more meaningful relationships with others. 


Realizing the absence of love in our lives can be a painful awakening, but it also presents an opportunity for growth and healing. By understanding the child’s perspective of receiving love and the mature perspective of giving love, we can navigate this emotional journey more effectively. Redirecting love towards our inner child, engaging in self-reflection, and seeking support are vital steps in nurturing love within ourselves. By embracing both the roles of recipient and provider we pave our way towards emotional maturity. 

Share this: